it wasn't so long ago that everyone lived in LA; gradually, people have trickled out, and while it means fewer quality peeps down south, it also means more fun places for us to visit. like... oregon!

(ok, so technically only half of this trip was to oregon; after 4 days there, the gang of robots moved on to seattle to visit ted's pad. eric and i couldn't make that half of the trip, and i hear everyone was too sad without us, so i choose not to acknowledge it further..)

eric and i flew into pdx and linked up with the others. after some quick dinner burgers, we headed out to kennedy school, a giant school building converted to a network of lots of bars. awesome, and highly reminiscent of insomniac with dave attell.

thursdays here apparently mean $3 beers till close: score. ordinarily, we would not drink, but as oregon is known for its brews, we had to oblige.

damn this game. i want to love shuffleboard so much, but i always lose.

oh, what, that's it? it's day two!

time to tick off a few portland essentials. first stop: voodoo doughnuts. jess enjoys her man dougnut, which probably had a naughty name.

while it was no bacon explosion, this bacon-draped nut looked mighty tasty.

next stop, powells books, where we all got lost in aisles and aisles of strange genres of books.

did i mention portland's famous music scene? here's one of my favorite bands.

lunch time: ted continues with day 117 of photographing everything he eats.

we decided to head over to adam's uncles place for some grilling. we didn't buy any links, but i thought the selection at this supermarket was... impressive.

pool party! man this was an outstanding idea; thank you, adam, and your most generous uncle, who gave us full use of his pool, yard, blueberry bushes, and prepared an amazing meal for us..

while most of us swam, dustin offered himself up in some sort of tribal sacrifice. we mostly ignored this.

steak man! here's that famous uncle, with an absolute shit ton of steaks and 'custom glaze'. (i should have known better than to ask: the man was understandably coy about the secret recipe.)

enough steak bricks to lay a great big brick wall of steak. apparently, he had them custom trimmed by the butcher. i do not know what we did to deserve this.

justin attempts to inhale his plate straight away.

i am stupefied by the mound of food.

the meal leaves everyone comatose for several hours, including the tenants of 'white trash hill'.

day turns to night, and we resume swimming. brian has the brilliant (if eventually menacing) idea to purchase, download, and loop 'r.e.m. - nightswimming' on the stereo. we all wail along with it for the next several hours.

brian flips himself into the pool...

...justin immediately dives to the rescue.

(teddles paddles along happily in the background.)

justin gives a recap of his jump performance, an 8.8/10 in my book.

we end the night with many back-breaking rounds of chicken fights.

after scrambling back to dan's pad, we all take face down naps.

day three!

we're off to the portland farmers market; the locals have advised us that under no circumstances are we to miss the delicious breakfast biscuits.

of course, the previous evening's late-night chicken fight session meant we were rolling out a little late (and sore), and so the nine of us arrived in line to catch the last 7 biscuits. locals 'hospitality dan' and 'hospitality ted' generously offered to direct adam and i around the corner to find some other fucking food.

the non-biscuit biscuit trip was not the only heartbreak of the day.

some other craft fair thing, on the way to the beer fest; the webbster and i score some strawberry lemonade.

hey! it's the portland international beer fest!

the way it works is this: you pay $20 to get in, get a 4oz glass, and 10 tickets. there must have been hundreds of beers and dozens of brewers represented there. each beer had a particular cost in tickets: many were in the 2-3 ticket range, but there were a few 1 ticket bargains, as well as many decadent 7-10 ticket splurge opportunities.

dan snagged my camera to grab a picture of this dog, which was promptly drank a 3-ticket beer.

not pictured: the surprisingly fun game of beerfest-pong we held in a big circle for 1-2 hours. (adam smuggled in half a dozen ping pong balls, which we used to play a sort of carnival goldfish ball toss game; if a ball landed in your cup, you had to give up a ticket. we even bilked some passersby into playing and scammed some extra tickets. we are so smart.)

here we are, a bunch of buddies! (you can see that dustin has shrewdly switched to a 12oz value beer, which came in a large plastic tumbler.)

brian, on the other hand, had his own strategy for maximizing his beer variety.

a tranquil afternoon soon turned deadly, as brian and i careened through the crowd in our motorcycle and sidecar.

dustin was upset, but ultimately accepted his job as guard for our bike.

many drinks in, we made a point to surround and antagonize jessica, the brave and sole girl on this trip-o'-dudes.

that's you.

what to do after you've spent all afternoon in the sun drinking beer? why, visit a brewpub and drink more beer, obviously! here's justin, being gently escorted out of my picture.

(we cool, tho.)

dan had a very intimate moment of his own; you can only look at that strangely clenched, disfigured hand and wonder what he's up to..

yet another brewpub; not sure what this one is.

oh no! it's the final day, day four!

choking back the tears, we hide our eyes behind some questionable shades.

brian puts on a brave face while jessica puts on hers.

we complete the trip with some breakfast corn dogs at screen door.